I miss them

My freckles are gone and it's 'bout time I get them back!

Maybe I should go somewhere wonderful this summer...

Somewhere hot...

With palm trees...




Maybe, just maybe, I might get my freckles back. And then some.

Oh What a Day

My relationship with school has come to a tragic end. And this is how I feel about it!

Time to move on.

I can't believe it's over. Where in the world has the time gone? As I was thinking about this past year, just reflecting the experiences I've had and the people I've met. It's hard to see what I've learned. I don't feel that different. I still feel like me. However, I was reading a journal entry from about 6 months ago and I thought, "Wow, did I really feel like that? I don't remember being that girl" This doesn't conclude that I've done a lot of changing. It could've just been the mood I was in at that particular time. Nonetheless, I do think I've learned a lot.  

I am ready for the year to be over. It's that time now. Does that make it easy? No it doesn't. There's so much that's coming to an end. For good. Just barely one of my roommates came home and for a split second I thought maybe it was Melanie rushing into our bedroom like she always does. But then I remembered that she's gone. I looked over my shoulder to find the other half of my room completely empty. It made me want to cry. I don't want to think about how she'll never be my roommate again. But I can't help it. She's getting married tomorrow. I'm so happy that it's finally here, but I'm just going to miss her so much...  And my other roommates... Mindy's sarcasm and willingness to help at any opportunity... Cori serenading us with her guitar (our personal favorite was "Hey Soul Sister") .... Kate's sweetness and hidden goofiness... and Whitney... I'm going to miss Whitney... Her craziness, her hilarious comments, her realistic views and advice, her surety, in herself and in her faith. I'm going to miss my roommates, my little family outside of my family. 

And my ward. All the people I've come to know and love. My visiting teachers. My bishop. This apartment that was my home. My bed. All of it. It's all coming to an end now... 

Why did I write on my blog?? Now I'm a big emotional mess. Should've stuck with my original plan, which did not include writing any of this. 

Anyway, life moves on. It's constantly changing. Never would I want it to stay the same. I want something new. Something different. But first I have to say goodbye to all of this. I really don't like goodbyes. Sometimes I try to move on and just say goodbye without thinking about it. I try not to think about how it's never going to be the same. It's easier that way. It looks like tonight I'm soaking it all in.

With all of that said, time to move on! I'm ready! I'm ready for an awesome summer. For new experiences. New people. 
Just like the song says, nothing can stand in my way! Now that this year is gone, I'm rolling onto something good. :)

Definitely a good find

I forgot I had a family

Let alone how hilarious they are.
 
Yesterday, I was on campus for 15 straight hours. I woke up already burned out for the day. Then I read this. And laughed. Out loud. A lot.

All of this homework can't be healthy. I might go crazy. Spending 15 hours on campus is definitely not healthy.

I miss my family. Reading this made me feel like we were all in the same room and it was wonderful. It was fun reading about my AWESOME sister-in-law.
Happy birthday Rachel!!!

Live and Learn

I have had such a strange week.

Yesterday I talked to my dear friend McKayla about my week. It was a great conversation and very much needed. She said a few things that really helped me. After listening to all that I was feeling she said this, "Well look at it this way Cindy, now you know yourself a little better than you did before."

McKayla is so positive and uplifting. I've thought about our conversation a lot. I do know myself a little better. When I'm taken out of my safe little bubble and am in situations I've never been in before, I get to know myself better.

This week I learned something new about myself. I learned that I'm really not as strong as I think I am. I thought I was stronger, but when it came down to really facing it, I wasn't as capable as I thought. I am anything but weak, but I guess until I'm tested, I don't really know my strength.

I also learned that it's easy to be hard on myself. I was SO frustrated with myself. I can't be so hard on myself. I just can't. What good does it do? I just have to learn and then look forward. But I have to make changes according to what I learned. So that's what I'm going to do. 

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense"  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

This song has been stuck in my head ALL day long

We All Need Saving

Why is it so hard to ask others for help? Is it because we feel like we're bothering them in their busy schedule? Maybe it's because we feel silly or whiny. Whatever the reason, for me it's just easier to keep it to myself and try to fix it alone.

But we're here to help each other. This first song says it best.

We All Need Saving- Jon McLaughlin  

come on come on
you have got to move on
this is not the you i know
this isn't real
it's just all you can feel
and that's the way that feelings go

and whether or not it's right or wrong
you'll do what you will do
but when the cloud in the sky starts to pour in your life
its just a storm you're braving
well don't tell yourself you can't lean on someone
cause we all need saving
sometimes

say what you will
but the time that we fill
while we are on the Earth
should not be alone
we were meant to be known
you make me what i'm worth
but i can't keep you from yourself
you'll do what you will do

when the cloud in the sky starts to pour in your life
it's just a storm you're braving
well don't tell yourself
you can't lean on someone else
cause we all need saving

and i don't know
why it has to be this way
and i don't know
the cure
but please believe someone else has felt this before

when the cloud in the sky starts to pour in your life
it's just a storm you're braving
well don't tell yourself
you can't lean on someone else
cause we all need saving
we all need saving
sometimes
sometimes 

I think this is my new favorite song. I'm not saying there's anything wrong, because there's not. Life is good. I was just thinking in general... We shouldn't feel like we can't go to other people when we need help. 

Speaking of helping each other... My sister Janet helped me today. After reading her blog about a nightmare she had last night, I feel more motivated to fill my time with the most important things. Things that will matter in the long run. It's incredibly easy to waste time or get distracted and push aside the most important things. 

So what am I going to do about it? Well I'm going to start by setting a few goals for this week (actually write them down and hang them on my wall) and I'm going to be committed to them all week! (I said it. So now I really have to be committed)

Here's a link to my sister's blog if you want to read a great post. She's such a great mom.